Pluto ruling amended - solar system in peril....

The recent ruling by the International Astronomical Union on the planetary status of Pluto has prompted action by the F.A.R.C.E In a meeting on August 25 at the Rt35 convention center, it was determind that the IAU had been incomplete in determining Pluto to no longer be a planet. In fact, by the definition they have accepted, a body which has not cleared it's orbit cannot be considered a planet. Therefore Pluto, since it crosses the orbit of Neptune, cannot be considered a planet. However, the point was made by Dr. C. Furman of the Boston Harbor University that this is a non-relativistic determiniation. In his opinion, it is a matter of perspective whether Pluto crosses Neptune's orbit, or Neptune crosses Pluto's. And since, by the principles of general relativity, no one frame of reference holds absolute sway over any other, the Foundation has ruled that Neptune can no longer be considered a planet, either.

In a flurry of activity, it was pointed out that comet Hyakutake and other small bodies regularly cross the paths of EVERY body previously known as a planet. The Foundation was then forced, for the good of humanity and the furthering of common sense, to rule that there are in fact NO PLANETS IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM!

In addition, further discussion revealed that Pluto could in fact be designated as an immature black hole. Due to the fact that this non-planetary body does possess a gravitational field and therefore has the ability to capture material that crosses it's path (which must happen, since it's not a planet), it is simple mathematics to determine that at an undetermined time in the future, Pluto will have collected enough material to excede the Tolman-Oppenheimer-Volkoff limit, at which time it will collapse in on itself to form a Black Hole.

What this means for the rest of the Solar System is unknown at this time.